I see myself in other people. IF I don’t like what I see, I stop masturbating.


Tuesday, August 7th, 2018

Politics is a disease.
Free medical is a choice.


Sunday, August 5th, 2018

Most left handed pot smokers think that there’s no problem with one of their hands being dominant yet openly speak out about equal rights.


Saturday, July 7th, 2018

Next project idea.

I’m going to open up a single moms home. Basically it’s all party girls with baby daddies who don’t give a fuck about them. They can all take turn baby sitting and talking shit about each other on facebook. I’m pretty sure I can get funded by big tobacco so it will be free rent. We will have class’s such as “How to get tattoos without catching STDs from the artist”. “How to be the top side chick to your favorite DJ. ” “How to get the best deal on Xanax using your food stamps”. “Best excuses to give the boss when missing your first day of work so that your friend who got you the job doesn’t start bitching at you” . Single girls will be welcome but there will be a private interview and an 9 month waiting period to see if they are accepted. The motto will be “Ain’t nobody gonna tell me how to raise my baby”.

I’m open to suggestions on other activities that cater to the young mothers of today.


Thursday, May 31st, 2018

What if it rains?

What if you didn’t have to get your life together?

What if you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be?

What if your choice of friends and lovers were destiny?

What if addictions weren’t yours?

What if neglect had no lasting effects?

What if your success didn’t offended others?

What if you understood that we are all socially awkward, but it’s a shame to denied strangers the pleasure of meeting you?

What if our lovers didn’t try to control us?

What if our self control became selfless control?

What if every smile you’ve ever had shared with you was actually meant to bring the other person pleasure?

What if one action did define you?

What if you weren’t the cause of your situations?

What if you weren’t accountable to yourself?

What if the last time you touched someone, you actually cared to touch them again?

What if you loved yourself the way your ex did?

What if being a victim made you a hero?

What if the dance floor was just as scared of you as you were of it?

What if words could actually move you?

What if you could choose the direction?

What if your thoughts never left your mind?

What if your heart didn’t lie to you?

What if it rains?


Tuesday, May 29th, 2018


Maybe the reason I do it, is because I can’t do it alone.


Tuesday, May 29th, 2018

Dear Lesbian friends: When you date a guy, make sure he’s not a douche. Save those for the straight girls.


Tuesday, May 29th, 2018

If you go.. dance with me in the dust.. even if for just a few ticks of the metronome. Its the moments that make up the memories.


Friday, May 25th, 2018

I can’t make everyone happy. However at least I can make the people who hate me smile when I fuck up.

Tuesday, May 15th, 2018

I don’t understand why they are called “basic bitches”. You have to have at least some form of higher education to understand a Starbucks menu.


Monday, May 7th, 2018